Upon a Stormy Lakefront
by ConstellationxSirius
Summary: Nobody has seen Padfoot for hours. When Remus goes to look for him, he finds him, and he also finds out Sirius may know something Remus didn't want him to know. SB/RL oneshot


_Hey, guys! Haven't written in a while, but I kind of like this one! And plus, who doesn't love Sirius and Remus? They make a darling couple. xD_

_This was written for imdeadsothere's Thunderstorm Romance Challenge._

**_Disclaimer: _**_I don't own Harry Potter, because if I did the story would be atrocious and I'd be dirt poor. But we'd have more marauder time! And also more...NAKED TIME! haha_

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Remus sat uncomfortably by the fire. James and Lily had become almost inseparable as of late, and were cuddling wordlessly in the chair across from him, staring into each other's eyes. They never went anywhere without each other, as they were both prefects and both in the same House, and therefore never had to.

Remus tried to intrude on their privacy as little as possible, and buried his nose in his Arithmancy book. Although, even Remus had to admit that there was only so much studying he could do, and Wormtail had gone to bed early and therefore served little use as a distraction. Putting down his book, he looked past James and Lily and out of the high windows. He couldn't see anything; it was dark and the black clouds were thick.

Finding his mind straying off once more to Sirius, although this time for much less incriminating reasons than had often plagued him lately, he wondered where his furry little friend had gotten off to. Apparently James was thinking the same thing, for he had reluctantly broken his gaze with Lily to look questioningly at Remus. "Do you know where Padfoot got off to? It's a half hour until curfew and now that I think about it I haven't seen him since we left dinner." Remus shook his head. It was unusual for Sirius to run off alone, he didn't normally appreciate silence or solitude, as Remus was content to utilize every once in a while. Although, the more that Remus thought on it, the more he realized that Sirius hadn't quite been acting himself. James and Wormtail hadn't particularly noticed, but Remus had been watching Sirius more and more often lately. Sirius appeared fidgety, jumping at the slightest comment. He often got caught up in his thoughts, and, when jerked from them, he looked disoriented. He thought Sirius noticed him watching him, because he seemed…different, around him; more reserved, possibly on the verge of coldness. Or had Remus imagined it?

Remus stood up and walked absently over to the window overlooking the grounds. He looked up at the sky and relished in the weeks he would have before the full moon. It was the best time for him. His body was pretty much healed from the previous change and was not yet beginning to prepare for the next one yet. Staring out of the window the clouds looked darker than they had in a while, and Remus absently thought of the war, of the people dying, of the dementors. That was not, however, the reason for the darkness this night. Just as Remus turned from the window, he heard a pattering on the window and turned around, smiling. Remus loved the rain. It was so majestic. Often he liked to look out on the lake and imagine himself standing in it, the water above him rushing to greet the water below him. As he looked down on the lake, he spotted a dark form. A person?

Remus silently walked behind James – who was still staring into Lily's eyes as if the connection broken would break his soul itself, and climbed through the portrait hole just as a pang of lightning struck. Startled, Remus fell out of the portrait hole, slammed against the floor outside, and heard a mean, merciless laughter screeching at him from above.

_Lupin, woopin, fallin', trippin',_

_Peevsie-weevsie, sittin', flippin'_

Peeves sang out raucously, floating above him with his legs folded 'Indian style' and giving Remus a rather rude hand gesture.

"Oh, go away, Peeves," Remus muttered, walking away angrily. Cackling and actually obeying for once, Peeves flew away still singing loudly.

Meeting no other obstacles on the way out, Remus exited the great Oak doors that had not yet been locked by Filch, the caretaker. Once Remus exited the castle he felt immeasurably better than he had previously, all remembrances of awkwardness and loneliness left him, for at precisely that moment he recognized the figure sitting on the grass under a tree by the lake. Remus didn't even care that it was raining, thundering, and he was getting his school robes soaked. A flash of lightening sparked overhead and was reflected off the great lake.

"Hi, Sirius," he said happily, plopping down in the mud next to his friend. Sirius did not respond. Turning to look at him, Remus saw creases in the beautiful boy's face. They were not the normally joyous creases he had come to know, but etched lines of sorrow that Remus could tell he had been hiding for a while. Sirius' eyes were closed, his hands folded in his lap. If Remus hadn't known better, he would have thought Sirius was praying; but after closer inspection, he saw what looked like a letter clasped firmly in his grip.

When Sirius opened his eyes, they looked weary. Tired.

Remus was concerned. "What's wrong, Sirius?" he asked, and hesitated several seconds. When no reply looked like it would be made, Remus reached out and took the parchment from Sirius' grip and unfolded it. Remus read the first line and froze, his heart sinking and a lump rising into his throat. He felt like he would throw up.

It was his letter. It had no heading.

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_'If you ever read this, it means I've stopped being such a scared puppy and finally told you the truth, or I'm dead. Most likely the latter. Either way, I need for you to know._

_I don't know how it's happened and I've tried my hardest to suppress it, but it has happened, and it's only grown stronger with time. The longer I'm around you the harder I've fallen. I can't help it anymore. I can't help staring when you laugh or smile, I can't stop admiring your bravery, your cunning, your intelligence. I can't but know as I do now that so many others are coveting you, and I'll never be good enough. But I never thought I had a chance to begin with._

_I'm writing you this so you know how I truly feel. How I truly admire you. How I truly love you. I'm sorry and I hope you can understand that I didn't mean to ruin what we had._

_Truly yours forever,_

_Remus Lupin'_

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'_Oh, shit, oh, shit, oh, shit,' _Remus thought to himself. '_How had he found it?' _Remus mentally cursed himself into eternity. It was all his fault. He just _had _to write it. He just _had _to keep it in his trunk. He just _had _to feel this way. Surely this was the reason Sirius had been so distant with him lately? Surely this is why he wasn't speaking to him now. He was disgusted. How could he have even thought that if he didn't particularly _address _it to Sirius himself, he wouldn't know it was about him? That if it was ever found, he could pretend it was for some other girl. Of course he knew! It was bloody obvious; and contrary to popular belief, Sirius wasn't dumb. Remus felt like ripping his hair out, the wolf inside of him that he fought so hard to keep in control threatening to break free of its carefully monitored cage.

"How could you think that?" Sirius asked quietly.

He knew it. Sirius hated him. He was disgusted. "I'm sorry," Remus said on the verge of tears, not knowing what to say. He didn't dare look at Sirius. He had ruined their friendship, he was sure of it. How could they ever be friends again after something like this? After this was revealed? Sirius could accept that he was a werewolf, but how could Remus ever ask him to forget something like this? It was different from a secret. It was different than what they had joked about, calling his 'furry little problem,' or, his 'time of the month.' The rain fell steadily onto Remus' face, hopefully hiding the fact that he was now openly crying. He knew their friendship had to end.

He didn't know what to do. Now that Sirius knew, they wouldn't be the unstoppable four. They wouldn't be the marauders. Remus would never fit in with Sirius and James and Peter again. Sirius and James were like brothers, and he loved Sirius too much to stick around and cause him more grief than he already had. The pain on Sirius' face had been almost unbearable to witness these past few weeks, and he couldn't subject him to it anymore. His body started shaking with sobs.

To Remus' terror, Sirius noticed, and if possible, his face grew to utter horror. Remus wanted to run away and curl up and hide. He didn't want to hurt Sirius any more. He didn't want Sirius to see him.

All of a sudden, without notice, Sirius wrapped his arms tightly around Remus and pulled him into his chest. Confused and unable to stop himself, his shaking intensified. His tears were battling the rain to see which could fall fastest, and his pain was sinking into him, swallowing him whole. The wolf in him howled to be let loose. To take away the human pains of emotion.

Unexpectedly, Sirius spoke.

"There, there," he comforted, rocking Remus closer to him, cradling him like an over-enlarged baby. Remus could still hear the pain in Sirius' voice. "Don't ever think that. You _are _good enough for her, and if she doesn't see that, then she isn't worth your love," Sirius said, sounding beside himself in pain. Remus stopped crying. What?

He sat up. "What are you talking about, Sirius?" he sniffed. Lightning flashed across the sky.

"This girl you wrote the letter to," he said, looking miserable, but also trying to help. Remus was completely and thoroughly confused. "What are you talking about?" he asked.

"The girl you're so in love with," Sirius said, now looking confused himself, wiping his soaked black hair out of his face to get a better look at Remus. After crying so hard and feeling so miserable and crying into Sirius' arms like a big baby, Remus laughed out loud. He couldn't stop laughing. Through his laughter Remus could see Sirius' face had switched emotions, and he now looked slightly annoyed. "Could you let me in on the joke?" he said.

That sobered Remus up. He couldn't very well tell him that it was really about him, if he hadn't noticed already. He might be able to salvage his friendship. Sirius meant so much to him, he could never lose him.

But because of this, he also knew he couldn't continue to lie to himself and most of all, to Sirius. He had the right to know. Hopefully, he could understand. And, if he couldn't, Remus wouldn't blame him. It was all his fault to begin with, for feeling these things toward his best friend. His male, womanizing, best friend.

Remus looked into Sirius' eyes and paused, remembering their friendship, remembering Sirius' grin, his laugh, his voice. Throwing it all away, Remus looked down at his hands and mumbled, "The letter is about you."

"What?" came Sirius' incredulous voice.

Speaking more clearly but not lifting his eyes, he repeated, "I said, the letter –"

"I know what you said, you prat," came Sirius' voice, as if from a thousand miles away. Remus' head was spinning, he felt like he was going to pass out. Wait, was Sirius making fun of him?

His head clearing vaguely, Remus looked up at Sirius again, his expression looking positively buoyant. "Wait," Remus said. "Wait. Aren't you…mad?" he asked, confusion seeping back again.

"Mad?" Sirius said, his expression fathomless. "Why would I be mad?" he asked. Muttering, he added, "…when I feel exactly the same way."

"What?" It was Remus' turn to ask.

Sirius spoke a little louder, "I said, I feel –"

"I know what you said, you prat," Remus said, grinning, beaming. "But, I thought you were mad at me? That you found out how I felt and you didn't want to be my friend anymore."

"I don't want to be your friend," Sirius said slowly, quietly, but not in a way that induced fresh tears. No, this was a way that set Remus' heart hammering in his chest and dissolved the lump in his throat. Could this even be possible? Sirius never kept anyone for longer than a week. Would this be an exception?

But Remus couldn't think. Sirius had leaned in closer and all Remus could smell was him. The feeling that he was going to faint crashed upon him again, yet for different reasons. He couldn't move. Sirius inched closer and closer, nearer and nearer, and Remus' heart felt like it was about to fly out of his throat. He could feel Sirius' skin barely touching his, and then their lips met. His breath caught. Lightning crashed.

And Remus knew that this was different, for both of them. Both he and Sirius knew they would be together for a very long time.

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_**Fin**_

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_So, if Sirius wasn't a little busy at the moment he'd like you to hit the nice little button that says 'review', but seeing as he is busy, I'll ask for him. Reviews = love, and I love those who review!_


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